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第1-10, 共25篇日记[首页][上页][下页][末页] |
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1--9/20/2007: October is coming again, will 2007 be a repeat of 1978 for Yankees?----Finally after a 7-year hiatus, do we smell the hunger for a championship ring?
2--上星期四在自己的“个人信息”里写下了上面这一段。星期五发现我的profile给封了，因为“您的个人信息修改要求已被拒绝，请查看是否提供了联系方式或不友好信息。如有任何疑问，请回此邮件。”——不明白，回信询问石沉大海。。。琢磨着肯定没有联系方式，那一定是属“不友好信息”一类了。突然发现网管是在麻省，难道他/她也喜欢baseball是个Red Sox fan? 一个Sox fan 怎么能容忍一个Yankees fan在他的地盘里如此不知天高地厚？:) —— 禁不住笑起来。。。笑过在想，或许这位“老大”忘记了一个最基本的事实：在按下block什么的那个键的那一刹那，他/她是个网管，而不是个Sox fan !
3--晚夏的一个周日的下午，踢一场足球赛。赛前有点儿lazy & sloppy, 担心能跑得动能跑多久？:) 没想到竟然健步如飞，虽然没进球，错失了一个非常好的机会，但还是拿到了两个assists，我们也大胜。于是心情莫名地好。。。为了错开和Red Skins game traffic, 一帮人风风火火开车往回赶，结果没想到在down town的时候走迷了。车上那个以negativity著称的家伙当然f word狂飞了。。。我则一边开车，一边看着落日，还有落日下的Capitol Hill, 街边的各色的小店里吃喝聊天儿的人们。一不小心，转上一条路，发现：嘿，正是我们要去的那条。哈。。。于是我跟那个“傻帽”说：hey you see, there ain't no nothing so bad in this freaking world...——是啊，朋友，这世道好像其实真的没什么难事儿！
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The joke:
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There was an Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English,but managed to communicate with her husband.
The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation,she lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs.
The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher what she wanted. The lady got what she wanted.
The third day, the poor lady needed to buy some bananas. So she brought her husband to the store..............
What did she do?
(please scroll page down).
What were you thinking? ? HellOOOOOOOOOOOO,
Her husband speaks English....
Now get back to work.............
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a friend of mine sent me this joke yesterday, I laughed... this morning, he told me that he was talking about the same joke with his wife on dinner table last night, his wife was all smiling, sighing and head-shaking... all of a sudden, their lovely daughter shouted to them: I know it, this lady's husband knows English and he can speak to the butcher... after telling all this, my friend added: an innocent inside is the innocent indeed... I think he might be darn right on this ---- & just wondering while we are gaining the power/wisdom & are unnoticeably getting used to relying on thinking, speculating, guessing, or even fatasizing ... to reach our conclusion/judgment as we live on and grow 'older', are we also at the same time inevitably & somewhat losing some of our basic capabilities to simply see the very essence of things?---just wondering.
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（登陆这个网站一年了。贴上这首歌，祝愿通过这个网站相识和未相识的朋友们——生命灿烂！）
我想我还在继续长。。。因为听到这样的歌声依然会感动激动，任车窗外吹来的劲风飞舞着头发；因为这样激昂和平静交替的乐声和那平凡而真切的呐喊声还会提醒我告诉我 what I (shall) appreciate about life & 给我充电打气儿。。。guess I will just need to learn and grow, continuously & for the rest of my life.
《勇敢的心》
我不是一块石头
也不是一滴眼泪
我只是一只小鸟
在寻找家的方向
我不是一粒沙子
也不是一声轻叹
我只是一个孩子
在寻找爱的怀抱
这是飞一样的感觉
这是自由的感觉
在撒满星星的天空迎着风飞舞
凭着一颗永不哭泣勇敢的心
这是同样的感觉
这是颤抖的感觉
在布满力量的大地抬着头狂奔
凭着一颗永不哭泣勇敢的心
这不是一种幻想
也不是一种痴狂
这就是我坚信的
灿烂生命的摸样
http://www.jingchina.com/blog/uploads/mp3/Braveheart.mp3
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足球——盛夏的晚上打一场训练比赛。天儿真叫个热&闷，半场下来，汗水滴答顺着下巴往下流，衣服被汗水湿透沉得自己往下坠。。。接下来下起了雨还夹着雷。因为事先大家都同意we are on no matter what: rain, thunderstorm, whatever，所以我们依旧在雨中奔跑着摔爬着。雨水和汗水混在了一起，浸透了头发，湿透了球衣——是不是只有给雨水soaked（过）了，才能学会不再太在意那一滴两点的雨溅在身上？——anyway, we rocked.
伊拉克——队友A又收到去伊拉克服役的call了。A告诉我们，自从战争开始以后，这将是他第五次应召去伊拉克。以前几次在战场上搞直接和战事有关的技术支撑，这次不知是祸是福，可能不用上危险的地带了，负责相关方面的伊拉克人的训练。。。经常在CNN上看到伊战伤亡报道，还有美军上个月的征兵任务少完成了几百人，这个月少了一千多人之类的消息，虽然有时也试着想象一下多少个家庭因此在受到的影响和冲击，但顶多就是一起同意一下主持人的牢骚：this war sucks... 但是真是到了身边的熟识的人要被派到战场上去了，即将开始的新赛季里再也看不到他和我们一起在球场上下厮混了，那牢骚的感觉好像才开始有了点具体真实的东西在里面——this war indeed sucks, it really does... we will all be waiting for you coming back, bro, & coming back safely. (& 又一次提醒自己：事非亲历，不要想当然地完全相信自己的推断推测，因为很可能，when you think you know and understand everything about something, you may just have missed one or two key elements in it already.)
婚礼——B宣布要举行婚礼了，邀请球友们参加。听到这消息，我和几个人纳了闷儿：赛季的时候，B的“妻子”经常来看我们的比赛，还带着他们的四岁的儿子。有一次B的四岁的儿子盯着B身上的14号球衣突然问道：Daddy, you are not wearing number 10? B笑着答道：daddy likes number 14, you forgot?. 然后转过脸和我会意的一笑。。。扯远了，有队友问B，why wedding, why now? you've got junior B (his son) & everything is working out well? B回答：we just feel we want to do this now... ——we all hear you, dude.
新故事——跟每次赛季换季一样，这次又有四五个因为工作学习的原因要离开我们的球队了；也跟每次换季一样，又迎来了四五个新面孔——他们，球踢得怎么样？他们，又会带来什么样的新故事？。。。我们，都瞪大了眼睛拭目以待地期待着。
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A doctor says -- it is impossible to have a child's soul inside a grown-up's body coz the reactions won't go along
generating all the elements for spasm and agony.
An artist says -- love and life is like a drawing
the first brush is alway the most exquisite while all the added ones are just added ones
leaving a paralyzed sensor nothing but more aloofness and insensitivity.
......
A porter says -- I donot believe you, doc
coz that is not your expertise
you can not even cure the cancer which is your job but not telling me about life's ABC
I will leave my soul alone and set it free to the sea
and present my body to your hands when it has to be (hah)
because my soul is who I am and where I've come from,
not its carrier, that grown-up body outside me.
A farmer says -- shut up, draw-er
coz a canvas seems to be what you can only see
a life in a studio is not a life on a steet
come to the country, that is where you need to be
I donot know about drawing but I do believe
a sprout will always emerge as long as you take care of its seed
every brush is as astonishing and breathtaking as the first one
because this is my OWN drawing, the one and only, that shall live with me.
......
They all move forward
towards
the ultimate sanity.
(PS: no offense to all the doctors and artists, lol.)
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春天来了，万物复苏百废待兴（小时候作文的开场白，呵），和着春意写下这篇。祝愿每个人都是好锁匠，打开心灵的大门。而且一旦开了，就让它大敞着吧，无论春、夏、秋、冬。 When That Gate of Your Heart Is Open
When that gate of your heart is open,
A brand new world just opens up itself to you as well all of a sudden.
Farewell the cluelessness to the questions of why, what, where and when,
Coz you, simply are just an ordinary and yet intrinsic piece of this wonder of nature's evolution. You stand high, seeing the white cloud dancing, floating and unfolding,
The sky is so dearing blue, so is always the gigantic pacific ocean.
The soft wind treads along with your steps on the meadow green,
The leaves whistling and birds singing the greatest songs of the merrily spring's celebration.
When that gate of your heart is open,
You no longer are that old 'Einstein' puzzled by the endless ramification.
Even a thunder can not bother you a bit no more,
not to mention the drizzling and snowflakes which you take as the world's best presentation.
You like ants as much as you like a panda,
even a rat not that annoying fleeing into the corner of that shabby gas station.
You close you eyes in the quietness and boundless darkness,
But all you see, is the vivid and soul-touching sunset, telling you the simple story of life's appreciation.
Yeah, when that gate of your heart is finally open,
Everyday, is like another day you just 'so accidentally' swung yourself into the Terabithia heaven. |
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1、城市浪子——这是一段我写在我的大学毕业留念册的扉页上的话（摘录的）： 一个洋溢着摇滚精神的新时代
一群放荡不羁的漂泊心灵
悲情与梦想
狂傲与歌
在变革动荡的社会中，存在着一批城市浪子。
他们忠实于自己的心灵，相信自己的感觉；
他们用自己的价值标准评判一切，以玩闹的形式反对一切做作；
他们是教条迂腐文化的受害者，又是其最佳掘墓人。 最近有机会和几位同人聊了关于友谊、爱情、民主、事业、人生等等的大话题，不是在这儿猪鼻子插蒜假装深沉，觉得真是受益匪浅开聊有益，不管从正面还是反面的——I mean to me myself only, no offense——说三人行必有我师一点儿也没瞎掰。
为什么想起了这段话呢？一：一定要欣赏自己相信自己坚持自己，同时又清楚认识到自己是平凡的社会中的一份子&每个别人都该有同样的信念权利理由，在自己的自己和社会的自己的两点中找到一个你能接受的平衡点并相信坚持（& 随时调整 if needed），你就找到了生活的支撑点。二来：眼睛睁大心思放明，看清那些画皮下的做作（比如，一个例子而已，被政治家们玩弄的面目全非的“民主”？Is it really that democracy that you have believed and valued, does it have all the ingredients that were orginally considered to formulate this concept? ...... Maybe it will someday in future, but for now, I donot think so.）三：革命保留，再革命再保留，每个人就是在一个个这样的cycle的过程中才变得，或者准确地说更趋近于"大彻大悟"的。
2、“黛玉”出家——陈晓旭出家了。刚看到时以为肯定是炒作的假新闻。
确信了后呆在计算机前在想：那该是怎样的一个痛苦可能又平静的抉择和过程。。。是对世态炎凉的失望、心的疲惫、对安静纯净的渴望 ？？？。。。。。。想了半天，终于发现我注定是猜不到想不出的了，凭我的人生经历，又怎么能？她在积累那几亿资产的路途上的经历和醒悟，该比我这个凡夫俗子多得太多太多了。。。换了我，真有了几亿的资产，照现在的心态和觉悟，早想着弄几座豪宅，搞几辆好车，再像Hef一样宅里养着三个年轻漂亮妞，都还亲得跟姐妹一样，哈……
于是只能感慨：我这辈子可能不会有那种觉醒了，那该是怎样的一种大彻大悟！
“黛玉”，安心！
（what is that extra piece of beauty in this whole thing? her husband made the same decision... where are all the famous hollywood screenwriters, & how can this whole story not be a bloody touching one?） |
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我们每个人都在生活的经历中不停地积累着：有些行李箱越来越沉大，有些家当越来越精致，有些技术技能越来越纯熟，有些记忆越来越难忘，有些银行账户越来越fat，有些房子越来越宽敞，……——It's all good, but, is that all?
上星期的一天和一帮球友们聚餐，N向大家宣布，他又换工作了。N可是个能折腾得家伙，没上过大学，高中毕业就开始“工作”了。他干过的活儿算得上是琳琅满目：在面包房里揉过面，在饭店里当过侍应生，在房屋维修公司里干过修屋顶通下水的差事……。直到去年，按我们玩笑的话说才开始变得civilized，先是在一家计算机公司给人做硬件修理支撑，这下要到另一家去做Programmer了。我们大家都为他高兴。
30出头的他从来乐乐呵呵没有抱怨过什么。席间有个刺头朋友问他，why the hell on earth you did not think about doing something civilized earlier? Hearing this question, I think everyone of us, at least I, was expecting some 终于修成正果后的沧桑感慨。But his response surprised all of us. He said, the way I see it, with every job I took, I know I can do more stuff; with every job I took, I know if there is any new stuff coming up next, I will be OK ---obviously not drunk yet and still knows what he is talking about, heh... We then all cheered for him.
啄磨着N的话，我不禁回想起了有些日子前看过的一部挺不错的大陆电视连续剧《血色浪漫》。那是一部讲文革前出生的一拨儿北京的军区大院里的子弟们几十年的生活变迁的片子。其中一个情节是，改革开放初期，男主人公从部队复员回到了北京，性格突兀的他注定是不会接受到一个派出所或者什么衙门机关里找个差事了事的“命运安排”的。于是他调侃着可以去街头摆摊儿卖煎饼果子。后来果不然，真就置备了行当，在街头练起了无照经营的煎饼果子小烟贩的摊儿，而且干得不亦乐乎。
和他们相比，我想我们很多人的生活经历应该算是平坦的了，至少少了一点不知明天会怎样的未知，少了一点未来会怎样的彷徨，哪怕只是短暂的。但是或许也因为如此，我们可能也少了一样可贵的那种特殊经历带给他们的醒悟，一种信念——A belief that no matte wherever I'll be & whatever I'll be doing, I will be OK.
不是在厚此薄彼跟咱好好的自己找茬儿，更不是在提倡每个人都辞了现在的工作跑到街头练煎饼果子或者hotdog的摊儿去——哈。我想我希望和大家分享的，是我们可以从他们身上读到的那种平凡坦然的信念：with so many years of life that I've experienced, with so many knowledge and skills that I've worked so hard to obtained, with a smart and intelligent me who is ready to explore and learn anything new, tomorrow, I will be OK.
Bearing such a belief in mind, we work hard, give every ounce of our effort and hope for the best following them in everyting that we are working on. But in the mean time, if things ever turned out to be the opposite way as we have expected, even the worst case scenario 'unfortunately' became reality, we will always know, I am ready for any alternatives, I am ready for them ----hey, bring them on! （心里有了这样一个底线，那么在现实生活中就会少一点患得患失，多一些洒脱和信心。）
Back to N's story. After rounds of drinking, he said at a point, you know what? what I want most is to have a Caribbean beach house, enjoying the beach and doing nothing everyday ---- hah, 喝多了，“伪君子”酒后吐真言，原形毕露了。
.....
We all know that it is going to be quite a journey for N to go from a computer programmer to a 'freeman' on Caribbean beach, but I think we all believe, no matter how many stops he will be making on the way there, not matter what he will be doing along the road, we know one thing for sure, that is ---- He, will just be fine.
Safe Journeying, Dude! |
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If I Had My Life to Live Over Again
by Don Herold
I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who live senibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, in stead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.
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Notes: A friend of mine sent me this article yesterday with a msg: “P, you already knew, believed and are doing it, I think you can tell M (note, another ‘cool’ good friend of ours) to learn it, to be cool!”… I did not realize it was such a nice compliment until I finish reading the whole article… Yeah, I think it is fair to say that this is a life or a state/status that I have been admiring, even though I know I am far away from even being close to it... At least, I know I am not quite ready to walk barefooted anytime yet, even in the gym locker room, I wear slippers coz I am 'scared' of athlete foot. |
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十二月的心情，象是不善厨事的少妇在灶台上打翻了所有的调味瓶：色彩斑斓，五味俱全。
十二月的心情，当然是充满希望和向往的。圣诞、新年还有紧随其后的中国农历大年，单单想一想，心里就禁不住被那些虽然有些模糊但又是触手可及的喜庆撩拨着——对，不需要理由，我们都已经辛苦劳作了“太久太久”，而且新的一年时常会莫名无缘地带给你新的梦想。
十二月的心情，因为有了希望和向往的冲动而理所当然该是懒散懈怠的。别跟自己较劲儿了，那么多的诱惑在前面，只有傻子和Prof Nash之流才会坚持认真勤奋地工作。
十二月的心情，因为有了对希望和向往的思索自然也会是敏感驿动的。一年快要结束了，多少的可能和或许要么已经成为现实，要么已经变成不可改变的过去，有多少你渴望再来过一次，又有多少你希望能有机会重新经历过？新的一年转眼就要到了，还有多少的可能和或许在前面跃跃欲试地准备向你迎面袭来，你祈盼它们都会有怎样的结局吗，你又有机会驻足吗？
十二月的心情，因为有了对希望和向往的憧憬当然还可能会是惆怅迷茫的。瞧瞧周围，枯叶那么不情愿地跌落在路上园中梯间，树象一个个不谙世事的毛小伙子竟在寒冷里光了膀子，露出发育尚未健全的根根肋骨。秋日里机灵可爱肉敦敦的小松鼠们不知道都藏到什么地方去了，有几个不甘心还强挺着在外面瞎闹的，也因为营养不良变得瘦骨嶙峋而真正是贼眉鼠眼的了。风该是最高兴的一个了，逮着机会就肆虐地高歌，虽然很难听，只有一个呆板的调子，呜…，呜…。——老天爷的脑子是灌水了吗？为什么在这样的一个本该被快乐充溢的时候，却赏赐给大自然这么一个不和谐的“节庆盛装”，和新年的期盼希冀是多大的反差？
……
十二月的心情真的就这么带点儿“惨不忍睹”吗？如果有可能，我们是不是可以有别的选择？
如果有可能，我们会选择没有十二月直接跳到新一年吗？……嗯，可能不会，因为无论如何，那样损失太多太惨重。日历要被搞乱了，计算机行当可能又要面对另一次类似Y2K的NoDec问题，每个人都要无缘无故地早一个月变老一岁，还有工资单不知道会不会也要少拿一张……——这世界已经有太多的麻烦了。不成！
如果有可能，我们会选择到地球的另一半去过十二月吗？那里阳光明媚生机盎然。如果选择澳大利亚，没准儿能放马无垠的草场狂吃膻味十足的澳洲羊；如果选择南非，没准儿闲时散步能在某个废弃的金矿的垃圾堆里发现一锭没人注意到的金块儿；如果选择巴西，没准儿能和一帮漂亮性感的西班牙裔女郎在海滩边的草屋下吃烤肉跳桑巴；如果……。…… 但是，果真那样了，我们会想念脱下棉猴围坐火锅时的热气腾腾和暖意融融吗？我们，会思恋下雪吗？（Would we miss the white snow?）……我想我们会的，而且非常非常。
于是欣然发现，我们真地不能舍弃这样的一个十二月——如果十二月的心情没了那一点点的懒散懈怠，没了那一点点的敏感驿动，没了那一点点的惆怅迷茫，取而代之以非十二月色的“平静安宁”，那，才该是怎样的一番无奈？
十二月的心情，没有死寂！
十二月的心情，味味上乘！
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